Can I just say… sometimes life sucks.
It punches you in the gut. Knocks the wind out of you. Then you are drug through the mud. And that was just Monday.
My heart knows what it is to suffer. To really suffer with a hardship as a parent. I have girl scout badges in suffering. It got REAL.
The good. The bad. The ugly. The really shame filled and ugly stuff I told no one. Yeah. That was no fun.
What's my point?!
Well... SURVIVAL. Who does it? How do they do it? What does it cost them? Are there ways to do it well?
Is it possible to THRIVE?
DOULAS GET IT. IT IS OK YOU ARE STRUGGLING. GET A DOULA FOR HELP.
*** Doulas have experience- They have been in the trenches with families during some of the bad, ugly, and ugliest times. In fact, that is when a doula can shine. A doula provides loving kindness with no judgment because it can make clients feel safe during times that feel really scary. Experience with babies, education, and physical support- boom! You are covered even when you feel like it's a whole lot to handle.
*** Doulas have training for the hard days- It is important to me to be a professional and trained emotional support person. I have Mental Health First Aid Training. I prioritize going to a regional Maternal Mental Health Summit annually with professionals who see women who struggle every day. I am trained as a Peer Support Group Facilitator. Hey- kids having a bad day too? Doulas get it. What can I do to help?
*** Doulas help carry the burden- It never hurts the candle to share the flame. Your heaviest burdens are far lighter for me to help carry when I am with you. I know the power it can have to sit with you and listen. I know the pressure it relieves for you to know laundry is put away and dinner is made. Lean on your doula.
*** Doulas are connected- A doula can get you connected with your local resources. It is really REALLY hard for some people in times of crisis to search for help, pick up a phone, and ASK. It is downright impossible for some. Yet, with a doula, she can connect you to therapists, support groups, baby classes, mommy groups, county health services, specialists, lactation consultants and more.
***Doulas bring peace- If even for just one day it feels regenerating to borrow someone else's peace when you are in the middle of a crisis. Humans mirror other humans nervous systems. Instead of sharing chaos, a doula provides her steady peace to help you recalibrate for the week. Crisis and survival mode can make us forget to let in the joy out of protection. Doula days can remind you to smile, sing a little, dance with your children, and BE KIND TO YOURSELF.
***Doulas are not therapists- Hear me out. Sometimes the first step is talking to someone you trust. A doula can be a nonjudgmental person in your circle that is all about helping YOU. A therapist provides a different level of care. Doulas specialize in infant care, birth support, and postpartum support. Education, skills building, and building systems in the home to help life work more smoothly. A doula can even help you seek out therapy if that's what you are needing. Doulas don't treat you. They support people physically, emotionally, and educationally!
***Doulas will not fix your problems- Though, a doula sees you as more than your problems. Your struggles and trials are NOT a reflection of your worthiness for support. You deserve support. I'll type that again. YOU. DESERVE. SUPPORT. Compassion for your struggles. A gentle reminder than these times will pass and the sun is here to warm you. A hug. A hug from someone who isn't crying for you or needing you. You are a whole person. It's ok to have problems.
***Doulas are kind- Are you hard on yourself???? Yeah! YOU! I am asking you. Enough said. I believe in the power of words said and words thought. When I am around my clients, we talk positively about ourselves because sometimes that is the only time of the week they are able to. I role model positive body talk, positive parenting, and positive thinking. It's science. The brain easily is biased toward negativity in order to protect itself. Yet, positive thinking rewires the brain and provides all types of happy feeling hormones. It feels good to think good.
I can go on... but really, when life is not going great it's ok to call a doula.
When life is feeling downright awful, go on- call me. Email me. I can help.
I get it.
What Clients Are Saying
"Choosing Sophie as my postpartum doula is one of the wisest choices I have made related to the birth of my daughter. She comes into our home and provides an immeasurable amount of support and assistance. From helping with meal prep, to nursing advice and assistance, and helping me process how I am doing mentally band emotionally, Sophie does so much to help me feel capable and grounded in this time of change. Sophie doesn't just help with tasks around our home, she gives me tools and knowledge to help me care for myself, care for my baby, and understand and process the journey we are on together."
Contact Sophie Grow