"I'm so exhausted."
Joy. Energy in.
Fear. Energy out.
Fear is one of the most powerful draining agents of the postpartum period that I know.
I have worked with numerous families.
Fear of the unknown, the known, history repeating itself, and even the far fetched or irrational fears are a tremendous DRAIN ON ENERGY.
Here's the deal. We can go throughout our day doing things that are "GOOD" for us. Yet those things could be draining energy from us if they are motivated by fear.
The whole idea of "self-care" is to deeply replenish emotional, mental, and physical energy that is sustainable.
How do you know you are filling your energy up or allowing energy in?
Do you know that feeling when you feel super cozy and safe? Warm, soft, and purring like a small kitten, we should feel like laying still is just fine. There is food and water in our bellies. We do not feel the need to run, be productive, or even move.
Maybe you feel so inspired and excited with your energy that you feel like the sun seems to sparkle and giggles of children give you goosebumps.
You feel fully safe, protected, and sheltered if you prevent your energy from leeching out. That feeling of groundedness does something for our brains and nervous system. When a new loud noise occurs, we don't jump out of our skin in fear or anger.
Yet! I often hear about constant ruminating over an imagine or thought-- that's draining.
Imagining what you'd say in a pretend conversation-- that's draining your energy too.
When you snuggle a kiddo or read an enjoyable book-- you are required to be IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. Sometimes this is really hard when modern parenthood is distracting, demanding, and exhausting.
Parenting can actually invite us to be in the present moment with equanimity to enjoy the fleeting peaceful moments- HA!! I acknowledge that it's really freaking hard to be in the present moment as a parent and seems just about impossible. Yet, I work with clients all the time who say it's impossible and we steal moments of joy together in a way they never imagined possible.
As a doula, I'm constantly pulling my clients into the present moment to make every moment count. I see them wrapped in the tentacle thoughts of fear for the future.
Most importantly: I listen. I hear your story. Your fears. I hold them. It's ok to have them. It's ok to share them.
I say: "Be here with me. In this moment, you are doing a great job loving your kids. Join me. It feels really good to just be. Let's be here."
I ask: "Does this choice feel like it is serving you? Are you in autopilot? How can I help you feel safe, grounded, and energized? What actions are draining you- and how can I help you right now in this moment to increase your calm?"
I'm just like you. I put my leggings on one leg at a time. I buy my midday coffee to try to make it to bedtime some days. I hide in the bathroom to get a break and struggle with guilt for taking time for myself. I worry for my children and my choices.
But after hard losses and true trials in my life, I have discovered bravery in making every moment count. Making at least half the moments count most days.
I invite you to find reasons to make these daily moments as a parent more joyful and energizing. Join me. Be here.
What Clients Are Saying
"Choosing Sophie as my postpartum doula is one of the wisest choices I have made related to the birth of my daughter. She comes into our home and provides an immeasurable amount of support and assistance. From helping with meal prep, to nursing advice and assistance, and helping me process how I am doing mentally band emotionally, Sophie does so much to help me feel capable and grounded in this time of change. Sophie doesn't just help with tasks around our home, she gives me tools and knowledge to help me care for myself, care for my baby, and understand and process the journey we are on together."
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